If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
false alarm, still single
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
