oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
