I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize