Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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