i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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