Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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