I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
not ubering you a puppy
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
