the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
