Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
pray to the hookup gods
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
