Three words: puerto rican gang bang
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
