Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
