I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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