Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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