thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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