There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
