first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
