just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
