we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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