A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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