I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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