it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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