Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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