Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
It was confusing and full of hummus
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
