Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
