I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
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