After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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