My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
