i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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