Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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