All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
