But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
