Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Randomize
