If that was your dad, he is hot
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
