I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
