I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
