her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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