xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
did you just send me my own nude
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
