my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
