Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
