I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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