There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
