someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
