I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
