How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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