we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
