obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
