Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
