I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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