we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
