i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
We got so high we made milksteak
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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