He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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