this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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