I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Randomize
