that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
