Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
