she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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