Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you traded sex for a burrito?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
