Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Randomize
